Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes

Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes
Publisher Penguin
Release Date
Category Humor
Total Pages 304
ISBN 9781101619674
Rating 3.5/5 from 2 reviews

Get this: Cronus liked to eat babies. Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate. Odin got construction discounts with bestiality. Isis had bad taste in jewelry. Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy. And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face. All our lives, we’ve been fed watered-down, PC versions of the classic myths. In reality, mythology is more screwed up than a schizophrenic shaman doing hits of unidentified…wait, it all makes sense now. In Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, Cory O’Brien, creator of Myths RETOLD!, sets the stories straight. These are rude, crude, totally sacred texts told the way they were meant to be told: loudly, and with lots of four-letter words. Skeptical? Here are a few more gems to consider: • Zeus once stuffed an unborn fetus inside his thigh to save its life after he exploded its mother by being too good in bed. • The entire Egyptian universe was saved because Sekhmet just got too hammered to keep murdering everyone. • The Hindu universe is run by a married couple who only stop murdering in order to throw sweet dance parties…on the corpses of their enemies. • The Norse goddess Freyja once consented to a four-dwarf gangbang in exchange for one shiny necklace. And there’s more dysfunctional goodness where that came from.

Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes
  • Author : Cory O'Brien
  • Publisher : Penguin
  • Release Date : 2013-03-05

Get this: Cronus liked to eat babies. Narcissus probably should have just learned to masturbate. Odin got construction discounts with bestiality. Isis had bad taste in jewelry. Ganesh was the very definition of an unplanned pregnancy. And Abraham was totally cool about stabbing his kid in the face. All our

Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes
  • Author : Cory O'Brien
  • Publisher : TarcherPerigee
  • Release Date : 2013

A humorous look at different mythologies emphasizing the cruder aspects of their stories, including drunken dance parties, sex with dwarves, and distended racoon testicles.

George Washington Is Cash Money
  • Author : Cory O'Brien
  • Publisher : Penguin
  • Release Date : 2015-05-12

PREPARE TO BE BEAKED BY THE MAJESTIC EAGLE OF HISTORY Most of us are familiar with the greatest hits and legendary heroes of US history. In George Washington Is Cash Money, Cory O’Brien, author of Zeus Grants Stupid Wishes, does away with the pomp and circumstance and calls America’

Fifty Shames of Earl Grey
  • Author : Fanny Merkin,Andrew Shaffer
  • Publisher : Da Capo Press
  • Release Date : 2012-07-10

Young, arrogant tycoon Earl Grey seduces the naïve coed Anna Steal with his overpowering good looks and staggering amounts of money, but will she be able to get past his fifty shames, including shopping at Walmart on Saturdays, bondage with handcuffs, and his love of BDSM (Bards, Dragons, Sorcery,

Hello  Jell o
  • Author : Victoria Belanger
  • Publisher : Random House Digital, Inc.
  • Release Date : 2012

A collection of sophisticated and economical recipes by the "Jello Mold Mistress" blogger provides dozens of options that incorporate modern flavors ranging from champagne and strawberries to key lime pie and chai tea panna cotta. 10,000 first printing.

  • Author : Homer
  • Publisher : Unknown
  • Release Date : 1891

Read online Odyssey written by Homer, published by which was released on 1891. Download full Odyssey Books now! Available in PDF, ePub and Kindle.

Myths are F   ing Great
  • Author : Dr. Nemesis R. M. Lightslayer
  • Publisher : Lulu.com
  • Release Date : 2014-08-06

The book adaptation of ""www.oedipusmotherfuckingtyrannus.tumblr.com,"" this aims to update world mythology in a way that could destroy several harmless grandmas. Through use of rage and swearing, Dr. Lightslayer conveys an inappropriate level of passion for Greek, Roman, Egyptian, Norse and other tales. Collecting stories ranging from the

Krishna Gopeshvara
  • Author : Sanjay Dixit
  • Publisher : Bloomsbury Publishing
  • Release Date : 2018-06-30

A never-before action packed retelling of Lord Krishna's life, Krishna Gopeshvara is the first in a trilogy that narrates the early life events of Lord Krishna from the time of Kamsa's capture of the Mathura throne to his killing by his nephew-as was foretold by the tyrant king's own priest.

Earth s Daughters
  • Author : Brtty Lies
  • Publisher : Fulcrum Pub
  • Release Date : 1999

A "who's who" of women in classical mythology.

Classic Works from Women Writers
  • Author : Editors of Canterbury Classics
  • Publisher : Simon and Schuster
  • Release Date : 2018-10-02

A fine collection of classic novels, short stories, poems, and essays from distinguished women writers. Women writers have been making their voices heard for centuries, but their works were not always taken seriously. Over time, as women gained more social and political freedom, these works have reemerged as subjects that

Oh My Gods
  • Author : Philip Freeman
  • Publisher : Simon and Schuster
  • Release Date : 2012-01-03

A professor of classics and visiting scholar at the Harvard Divinity school presents modern interpretations of traditional Greek and Roman myths that render classic themes accessible to a new generation of readers. By the author of Alexander the Great.

To be Or Not to be
  • Author : Ryan North
  • Publisher : Penguin
  • Release Date : 2016

The greatest work in English literature, now in the greatest format of English literature: a chooseable-path adventure! William Shakespeare's Hamlet has finally been restored to its original second-person non-linear branching narrative format. Now it's up to you to decide what happens next. Play as Hamlet and revenge your father's death.

The Prostitute in the Family Tree
  • Author : Doug Adams
  • Publisher : Westminster John Knox Press
  • Release Date : 1997-01-01

The Bible is funny! Very funny, according to Douglas Adams. In this book, Adams demonstrates how readers can discover this often-neglected humor looking at the Bible as a whole and seeing biblical stories with all their rough edges--the unethical and ambiguous characters, the unsolved problems, and the surprising endings. Adams

  • Author : Giorgio Agamben
  • Publisher : Princeton University Press
  • Release Date : 2020-10-20

The Italian philosopher Giorgio Agamben has always been an original reader of texts, understanding their many rich and multiple historical, aesthetic, and political meanings and effects. In Profanations, Agamben has assembled for the first time some of his most pivotal essays on photography, the novel, and film. A meditation on

The Iliad
  • Author : Homer
  • Publisher : Farrar, Straus and Giroux
  • Release Date : 2004-04-03

Anger be now your song, immortal one, Akhilleus' anger, doomed and ruinous, that caused the Akhaians loss on bitter loss and crowded brave souls into the undergloom, leaving so many dead men-carrion for dogs and birds; and the will of Zeus was done. -Lines 1-6 Since it was first published